"When people feel strongly about an issue, their feelings come first, and their reasons are invented on the fly, to throw at each other. When you refute a person’s argument, does she generally change her mind and agree with you? Of course not, because the argument you defeated was not the cause of her position; it was made up after the judgment was already made." - Jon Haidt, The Happiness Hypothesis
Haidt's research has substantial implications for persuasion, evangelism, and why debates tend not to change anyone's minds or positions. People don't abandon their beliefs because they're persuaded by overwhelming facts and statistical analysis, but they may be moved by heart-warming stories or significant life experiences. They will never be interested in adopting your opinion unless they trust you and believe that you care for them or unless you involve their heart in making the decision. I'm not saying it's easy, merely that the easier methods are quite ineffective.
Far too often, people debate with each other merely to prove themselves right or for the sake of arguing. Very rarely do people debate or engage in discussion to gain a deeper understanding or to further develop their own positions. Humility is so noticeably absent from arguments. People don't expect to learn anything in a debate, but they do expect to change the other person. Who is this mysterious other person everyone thinks they're changing? The quality of discourse will continue to decline until humility becomes a dominant characteristic in such discussions and debates.
No comments:
Post a Comment