Don't Take No For An Answer

Most people stop at no. Maybe they're following social constructs; maybe they're trying to follow rules and not cause trouble; maybe they're embarrassed to keep asking.

As a toddler, when I just began to speak, I gave myself a nickname, "I do". I wanted to do everything, and I thought I could do it myself. Throughout my childhood, my mom regularly told me that "I could do whatever I set my mind to." In a way, it became more true because she constantly reinforced it in my mind. I'm very grateful to her for that.

The other day, I called Flight Hub, a travel agency which attempted to scam me. I booked a flight for work and then realized much later that one leg of the trip was booked for the wrong month and wrong day, mysteriously. So I called and talked with the customer service representative, who didn't know what to do, and just told me to pay the $250+ change fees. Then I spoke with the manager and discussed the situation with him. After blatantly refusing to accept his statements that there was nothing he would do for me since it was "my fault", I kept asking. And then suddenly he offered me a full and complete refund. Clearly he didn't mean what he said.

And a couple weeks ago, I requested a meeting with my building's management to discuss the roof hours. The hours were 11am-8:30pm, which is absurdly short, and I told them that the tenants would like them extended. They said the hours won't change. I replied that they didn't understand my request, which was for a meeting to talk about the hours. After the third email, they agreed to a meeting and shortly thereafter changed the hours to 10am-10pm. I've learned that no doesn't actually mean no.

I think of it this way: people don't want to bother giving you want you ask for. But they will if it's easier to give it to you than ignore you. If you think no means no, you will miss out on so many opportunities. They may respond well if you respectfully refuse to accept no as an answer.

There's a common principle in parenting that says parents must be perfectly consistent. If not, children will quickly recognize that their parents don't say what they mean. Sadly, most parents will change their answer if their kids put up a fuss or have a temper tantrum, and the kids learn that fussing can get them whatever they want. Then the parents wonder why their children are so demanding. While my parents were incredibly good at following this principle, I learned that society is not.

You'd be surprised what you can accomplish when the realm of possible envelopes what was formerly the realm of impossibility.