On Monday, I met a self-proclaimed Grunkle. He's an incredibly cheery grand-uncle. He unconvincingly tried to get me to believe that he's 102 but he's actually 75. He said he's very happy and he attributes a large part of his happiness to his faith, as a practicing Catholic. In Manhattan, it's unusual to meet such happy people who share their smiles and silliness with strangers like me.
Last Saturday, we went to a church to pack Operation Christmas Child shoeboxes, and this one guy in his early twenties, Daniel, was so diligent and often worked alongside us but never said hello. After a long while, I introduced myself and learned that he's never been to that church before and doesn't know much about God, and his favorite religious text is Paradise Lost. He told me about his sand-blown glass vases which he makes and sells. I asked if he enjoys being an artist, to which he replied, "It's a good thing I'm autistic, otherwise I would go crazy with the slow, precise work required to make the vases." An interesting perspective on thankfulness.
When with the Grove City students who came to serve in NYC, I also spoke with a number of homeless people on the streets of Midtown. A young bearded writer told us about his journey to New York and being homeless since he arrived. He's never been short on food; he has many warm coats to survive winter; and he has friends both in NYC and in LA; so he said one of his bigger troubles is simply finding a place to shower. He preferred to live on the streets, write, and "have all the free time in the world" than to have a desk job and no free time. I suppose we all have different values.
Saturday, November 29, 2014
Saturday, November 8, 2014
People of Washington DC
I've met some more people this week... stories from Washington DC:
I was thrilled to meet three delightful Londoners who are participating in the Atlas Network think tank MBA program, but I feel awkward sharing stories about people who I'm now Facebook friends with. However, one of them instantly invited me to his birthday party which falls over my next visit to London, another bought a round for us all at the hotel bar, and the third helped me fabricate a creative story about the origins of my pocket watch necklace. Londoners are pretty much my favorite.
Zecharius is the friendliest barista I've ever met, working at Au Bon Pain. While I placed my order, he introduced himself. He proudly told me he came from Benin (West Africa), and that he's been in the states for five years. He is one year away from finishing his bachelors in civil engineering, a skill he knows he can use in any country in the world. None of his family is in the states, but he's not sure whether he will return or not once he graduates. I asked if he's always this friendly, and he said you never know who you'll meet. So true.
Ahmed is the slowest cab driver I've ever seen, frequently going under the speed limit. He's from Pakistan and works a full time job in Fairfax, but he also drives for Uber on the weekends. At the risk of being obnoxious, I kept asking him to speed up, explaining that I was going to be late for the opera. Although his English was perfect, he couldn't seem to understand the concept of speeding up. Nonetheless - with some prayer - I arrived at the Kennedy Center just before the opening number of La Boheme.
On an average week, I meet 5-10 people randomly, most of whom I will never see or talk with again, and 10-25 people in a professional capacity, most of whom I will encounter in the near future. These profiles are just a snippet of their many stories.
Monday, November 3, 2014
Humans of New York - story edition
Most days, I meet a few random New Yorkers, whether on the subway, at a coffee shop, at a food stand, or as building concierge. There are people everywhere, and I greatly enjoy saying hello. Here are a few people I met last week:
Shortly after midnight on a weeknight , waiting in the 59th St/Lex Ave subway station, a student named Lindale asked me if he was on the correct platform. He was reading a book about Brooker T. Washington to write a paper on him for one of his classes at Bronx Community College, where he is studying pre-med and wants to become a doctor. Most of his family is in Jamaica, where he grew up. He was waiting for the train to go to his job at a large retail store where he helps with unloading overnight deliveries. On weekends, he caddies at a golf course. He doesn't sleep much, but he has an incredible work ethic and a positive attitude. Stereotypes about today's youth are not always true.
At a fundraising event for children with mental disabilities, I met three young gals who are classmates in culinary school, all of whom are fairly boy-crazy. While I sat in the kitchen with them, they took some selfies and talked about all the hot kitchen boys, hot stockroom boys, hot boys they snapchat, hot boys they date, and hot boys they want to meet. Sometimes stereotypes are true.
In the square just outside my building, there's an Autumn outdoor food court. The pizza stand has its own stone pizza oven. There's a guy who stands there and bakes pizzas all day long. He works every day of the week, during these months, and helps to run the business. I say hello when I walk by. He's about 30, has a short beard and long unruly hair, which he usually ties up for work. One day, using an example to make some point, I referenced that people don't consume poison knowingly. He promptly contradicted me and said it's not true, because he takes acid and loves it. I stand corrected.
Everyone has a story. You'll never know what you'll get when you start a conversation, but you'll likely find something really interesting.
Shortly after midnight on a weeknight , waiting in the 59th St/Lex Ave subway station, a student named Lindale asked me if he was on the correct platform. He was reading a book about Brooker T. Washington to write a paper on him for one of his classes at Bronx Community College, where he is studying pre-med and wants to become a doctor. Most of his family is in Jamaica, where he grew up. He was waiting for the train to go to his job at a large retail store where he helps with unloading overnight deliveries. On weekends, he caddies at a golf course. He doesn't sleep much, but he has an incredible work ethic and a positive attitude. Stereotypes about today's youth are not always true.
At a fundraising event for children with mental disabilities, I met three young gals who are classmates in culinary school, all of whom are fairly boy-crazy. While I sat in the kitchen with them, they took some selfies and talked about all the hot kitchen boys, hot stockroom boys, hot boys they snapchat, hot boys they date, and hot boys they want to meet. Sometimes stereotypes are true.
In the square just outside my building, there's an Autumn outdoor food court. The pizza stand has its own stone pizza oven. There's a guy who stands there and bakes pizzas all day long. He works every day of the week, during these months, and helps to run the business. I say hello when I walk by. He's about 30, has a short beard and long unruly hair, which he usually ties up for work. One day, using an example to make some point, I referenced that people don't consume poison knowingly. He promptly contradicted me and said it's not true, because he takes acid and loves it. I stand corrected.
Everyone has a story. You'll never know what you'll get when you start a conversation, but you'll likely find something really interesting.
How to Change Someone's Mind
"When people feel strongly about an issue, their feelings come first, and their reasons are invented on the fly, to throw at each other. When you refute a person’s argument, does she generally change her mind and agree with you? Of course not, because the argument you defeated was not the cause of her position; it was made up after the judgment was already made." - Jon Haidt, The Happiness Hypothesis
Haidt's research has substantial implications for persuasion, evangelism, and why debates tend not to change anyone's minds or positions. People don't abandon their beliefs because they're persuaded by overwhelming facts and statistical analysis, but they may be moved by heart-warming stories or significant life experiences. They will never be interested in adopting your opinion unless they trust you and believe that you care for them or unless you involve their heart in making the decision. I'm not saying it's easy, merely that the easier methods are quite ineffective.
Far too often, people debate with each other merely to prove themselves right or for the sake of arguing. Very rarely do people debate or engage in discussion to gain a deeper understanding or to further develop their own positions. Humility is so noticeably absent from arguments. People don't expect to learn anything in a debate, but they do expect to change the other person. Who is this mysterious other person everyone thinks they're changing? The quality of discourse will continue to decline until humility becomes a dominant characteristic in such discussions and debates.
Haidt's research has substantial implications for persuasion, evangelism, and why debates tend not to change anyone's minds or positions. People don't abandon their beliefs because they're persuaded by overwhelming facts and statistical analysis, but they may be moved by heart-warming stories or significant life experiences. They will never be interested in adopting your opinion unless they trust you and believe that you care for them or unless you involve their heart in making the decision. I'm not saying it's easy, merely that the easier methods are quite ineffective.
Far too often, people debate with each other merely to prove themselves right or for the sake of arguing. Very rarely do people debate or engage in discussion to gain a deeper understanding or to further develop their own positions. Humility is so noticeably absent from arguments. People don't expect to learn anything in a debate, but they do expect to change the other person. Who is this mysterious other person everyone thinks they're changing? The quality of discourse will continue to decline until humility becomes a dominant characteristic in such discussions and debates.
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