Home Is Where the Heart Is

If home is where the heart is, then mine spans the Atlantic. After four months in London - even though I couldn't master the accent - I was at home on that side of the pond. Being back in New York, I now have two places to call home.

Over the Fall semester, I recall many fantastic adventures in London, delightful travels across Europe, and fantastic British friends who welcomed me. With each goodbye hug, I wondered when I would see these wonderful people again, if ever. When tempted to be sad, I realized I ought to be grateful for the relationships that I had made, which is far preferable to never having the chance to know them. 

While in London and even more so on each trip abroad, I often meditated on this verse: "Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You. My flesh and my heart fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever" (Psalm 73). When the trials came, when I felt that my flesh and heart were failing, I rested on this promise. It also became my prayer, to desire none besides Him, which is far easier said than done. In every way, God abundantly provided for me and answered my prayers. As just one example, I had asked God to provide a community of believers for me, for mutual encouragement, ministry-buddies, and to challenge me in my faith. Within just a couple weeks, He provided the most amazing group of students who became my close friends. And I have countless examples of His provision in very big and very little ways.

As I prepared to leave London, I realized that life in New York won't be quite as fun or enjoyable. Even though I firmly believe that circumstances matter far less than attitude, I know that the pleasures of London are over. I can no longer take the train to Paris in two hours or pop over to Portugal for the weekend. I can't wander through Covent Garden in the afternoon and stroll along the Thames at sunset. I can't stay out past the last tube and take the night bus home. I must move on from the "fun" stage of life. Yet I rejoice because God is good, and His will is perfect. I would rather be in the center of His will than anywhere else in the world. When life is too comfortable, growth is sparse. In tribulations, temptations and trials, we become fully dependent on God. God stretches us in places where we need stretching. He challenges us and gives us the grace and strength to rise to the challenge. We don't grow nearly as much as when times are hard. He doesn't promise happiness; He desires our holiness. Thus, I choose to embrace His plans and seek to ace these tests. Lord, not my will but Yours be done.

Lastly, I learned these lyrics at Christ Church London, and they became recurrent themes/prayers during my past few months:

"Spirit, lead me where my trust is without borders; 

Let me walk upon the waters, wherever you will call me. 

Take me deeper than my feet would ever wander; 

And my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior." - Hillsong

"To You our hearts are open; nothing here is hidden. You are our one desire." - Matt Redman

God has been so faithful to lead me and strengthen me, and I have full confidence that my guardian angels worked overtime to guard and protect me. Anywhere outside His will is dangerous and absent of joy. Therefore, I choose to rejoice in His perfect wisdom, rest in His faithfulness, and praise Him for being the all-sufficient Lord. Not my will, but Yours.