Finding Free Bathrooms

After a few hours wandering through windy alleys and city squares and ornate cathedrals, you will inevitably start looking for closest bathroom. Most cafes discourage non-customers from using the water closet. Most fast food places have no pubic restrooms. Museum staffs will deny entry without a valid ticket. And you want to save your coins for some gelato later. Thus begins the hunt for the loo.

In Switzerland, public WCs reside all over the major cities, but they charge you for their service. In Amsterdam, you can search for days without finding a public WC, so don't even bother. In Brussels, you can watch the Manneken Pis pee in the fountain, but it's not recommended for tourists.

So then, here's the game plan.  Step one: look for any major hotels. They are usually located near the heart of the city. Once you've found one, walk in the lobby - alone or with a buddy, but never with a large group - and act as though you've been in before. Walk past the reception desk to the back of the lobby and use the cleanest restrooms you'll ever find. As Chesterton says, "Brittany doesn't understand why bathrooms have hotels."

Step two: if step one fails, look at the nearby cafes. You may need to stop outside a few places before you find one that is busy enough inside, but without a sign saying, "for customers only."

Step three: if there are no hotels or cafes, what are you doing in the middle of nowhere?! Nonetheless, go to Starbucks, Burger King, KFC or McDonalds. They're usually moderately clean. But sometimes the bathrooms are locked and require a code from your receipt. So they're not the most reliable.

If all else fails, look up, find a crane, and meander over to the construction site, where you will always find a Porta Potty.